Where you Belong II
by SidewaysCope
Summary: The sequel to 'Where you Belong'. Castiel has finally escaped the grips of his abusive Father to start a new life in Lawrence, Kansas. Genres: A mixture of everything. Dean/Castiel.  Updates TBD
1. Chapter 1

_**Before **_

_17-year-old Castiel Novak escaped a life of abuse carrying with him nothing more than a few possessions and the clothes on his back. He did everything possible to keep his family off his trail as he hitchhiked with strangers, walk long roads and starved himself in order to find Gabriel Novak. The only member of his family he knew could protect him. _

_In Lawrence, Kansas he found his brother living alone but also discovered Chuck Shurley the first student to speak to him directly on his first day. Dean Winchester the man he soon fell in love with. Being in love was not on his list of things to do with his new life in Lawrence, but Fate played her part and Castiel and Dean soon found each other. Resulting in Castiel opening up to Dean about his dark past but not without others digging into his past without his knowledge. _

**Now**

_-From Dean_

_Cas you could've told me you were going away, come see me when you're back in Lawrence. _

_-From Cas_

_I will. _

Castiel snapped his phone shut as he replied back to Dean's message. Gabriel had said bluntly that he needed the piece of mind that he could get hold of his little brother at any time. "I am not fond of your latent paranoia Gabriel." Castiel muttered as he saw his older brother watching him out the corner of his eye as they drove down the dark road. "Better safe than sorry Cas." He could tell his older brother was worried especially if it involved their family. "I just need the peace of mind nothing is going to happen to you." Castiel wanted to snort but he rethought the action. "Nothing is going to happen Gabriel, they probably have no idea we have left." Castiel just wished he could believe his words because he was worried as well.

They drove in silence Gabriel's fingers tapping nervously on the steering wheel and Castiel mimicking the movements on his lap. "Gabriel… what are we going to do if they find us?" Gabriel turned off the road sharply and cutting the engine off in the same motion. "Cas, listen to me. I'll be honest I'm worried okay but we're not going anywhere."

Deep down Castiel wished he could believe his brother but his gut said otherwise, he bit him lip nodding his head silently. He felt the weight of his brother's gaze on him, as he turned to look out the window focusing on anything than his gut instinct.

_-To Dean_

_Back in Lawrence, I will come by once I have been to Church._

As soon as they arrived back in Lawrence, Castiel asked to be dropped off in town so he could go to Church for a couple hours. Gabriel needed no explanation but agreed unwillingly, he of course only asked that Castiel keep his phone close and ring if anything seemed out of the ordinary. Yet Lawrence seemed unchanged it was peaceful. Or was it. Castiel stood in the unusually quietness of the small town area.

He walked towards the Church weary of his surroundings he had hoped for peace to his nerve but just sitting there made him nervous. He leaned forward his forehead touching the bench in front as he prayed quickly over and over.

_God, _

_I pray for you not to let him find me. Please. I ask only this. _

His eyes closed tightly the thought replaying continuously in his mind in the hopes his words would reach Him. "Well Castiel. Michael and Raphael spoke the truth, you are looking well." Castiel gasped, the sound echoing in the silent Church. Castiel head shot up and he pushed himself back away from the voice. "What are you doing here?" his blue eyes reflected internal fear as his Father sat down casually on the same bench. "I am doing something your brothers seem incapable of doing." He picked up the small bible flicking through it quickly before returning his eyes back on Castiel. "You are coming back to Pontiac." Castel's throat tightened painfully as he tried to muster up his courage. "No, I am not Father."

The dangerous flash he never forgot reflected in his Father's eyes. "Don't argue with me Castiel. Now Raphael tells me you have a… boyfriend?" the words slipped off his Father's tongue distastefully. "It seems I was correct in my thoughts of you." Castiel flinched. "It's disgusting to even consider my offspring participating in such kind of activities." Castiel's nails dug into the wood painfully as he tried his best to think of an escape route. "Thinking about running? Michael and Raphael are at the entrance. Now come along let's not waste anymore time." His Father stood up when Castiel refused to move. "Castiel if you do not return with me, I will make sure your precious Dean Winchester can never be safe even in his own home." He stomach dropped at his father's knowledge of Dean. "Because I know everything I need to know about him. Now move yourself Castiel and leave that phone behind."

**A/N: So this fanfic is the second half of 'Where you Belong' I'm thinking it'll be around 20 chapters at least but who knows really. I'm definitely going to try and avoid the 40 chapter mark since it might kill me and I'll just turn into a puddle of oozing ooz!**


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel sat terrified in his Father's study trying his best to ignore all the reminders and memories that wanted to break through his carefully placed shield. "So son how does it feel to be home again?" his Father sipped his liquor, even when his Mother was alive the idea of being in his father's presence especially when it involved alcohol made him beyond nervous with dread. He knew that he had to answer his Father or risk the potential threat of a beating but… he closed his eyes as a pounding took its place at the base of his neck. He knew only inches away from him was the place his brother had held him while his Father had beaten him to an inch of his life. Castiel could bet that if he looked hard enough at the desk there would be some visual reminder etched into the wood. "Castiel! Answer me now boy!"

He flinched at the sound of his Father's fist against the desk. "G-Good?" he failed at sounding convinced although luckily that had not made it through his Father's alcohol ridden mind. "Excellent. Now tell me about this Dean Winchester."

"He is a nobody." His Father heard the slight shake in his voice, the thickness of tears making his voice slightly higher. "Castiel might I remind you what happens when you lie."

Yes he knew exactly what happened when he lied, or whenever his father or brothers were convinced he was lying. He wanted so bad to rub his forehead anyway to soothe the pounding that now ran up into his skull it felt like his brain had swelled to where it wanted to break out or explode. "Yes Father." He licked his lips slowly trying to find the right words that would not in anyway aggravate his Father. "He is just a friend." It was at that moment his Father smiled while shaking his head, his fingers tapping against the glass. A motion he used to think or worst case scenario a method to compose himself enough not to snap. "Castiel. Do. Not. Try. Me." He stood putting his glass aside, all Castiel could do was zone in on the hands which had caused him so much pain in his upbringing. Memories of those fists. Beating his side bruising every inch of flesh that could be hidden. _Oh God no! _His eyes watered as memories assaulted his brain, flashbacks of the pain, cruel words echoing around in his head. "He's a Demon Castiel." His Father leaned in close, the smell of alcohol on his breath burning Castiel's nose making him want to heave. "He is not a Demon." He turned his head away expecting some form of punishment for talking back yet nothing happened. "And you defend him? My haven't you gotten brave." The smirk was evident in his Father's voice. "My son. My flesh and blood defending a Demon, well as I live and breathe." A sudden cold laughter rang throughout the study but the mood suddenly changed as the man grabbed Castiel by the shirt pulling him across the room and slamming him against the wall. Knocking the air from his lungs and bringing tears to his eyes at the nudge to his ribs. He made a small sound of pain muffled only by biting his tongue hard.

"Now tell me the truth Castiel." Never once could Castiel explain the sudden changes in his Father's moods. At times he could be comforted enough of his Father being generous and not wanting to hurt him, but something sudden could automatically change that. "I-I-I do not know what you are talking about."

The sudden tightened grip sent a wave of panic through Castiel as he remembered Gordon doing the exact same thing to him in the Gym. The sickening smile filled his Father's lips as he traced a hand over Castiel's aching ribs. "Do they still hurt when it's cold or raining?"

"_You saw what?" Gabriel almost dropped the phone as he paced around trying to make sense of what the Hell was going on. "You saw a man lead Castiel out of the Church?" he listened for a moment and dropped the phone completely when the description finally made sense. He stood completely still, his body frozen the raised voice barely making it through the cloud in his brain. _

Castiel slid to the floor his eyes red and hot from burning tears as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. "Are you ready to talk yet?" his Father knelt down gripping his chin painfully. "You need to be punished for your action. Sodomite in my Family is something I will not approve. You are disgusting."

He took in a shuddering breath as he prayed for the pain to disappear, he had never forgotten the power his Father held in his fists and he knew the exact places to hit. _Something you never really forget. _His brain murmured through the haze of pain. "I could say the same thing about you." The silence was stunning as a few tears escaped and Castiel curled tighter into a ball. "You really have become brave." He saw underneath his eyelashes his Father pacing in front of him. "I believe it maybe more difficult to break you. Although… Michael!"

_Raphael stood in the shadows as the sounds of his younger Brother crying out in pain at the dull sounds of fist against bone. He saw Michael appear when the sound of his Father's voice called him. The perfect Son. The obedient Son. Following orders as Michael put it regularly and bluntly. "I am a good Son Raphael. I do not need to be asked twice to do something." _

_When had Michael become so sick? Had their Father been poisoning the Eldest Son even when their Mother still lived? How could God allow this kind of behaviour to continue? He felt something move inside him when he thought of Castiel, it was not hatred but… he swallowed several times. "This needs to stop." He closed his eyes only briefly seeing Castiel's beautiful bright blue eyes that reminded him so much of his Mother. He had stood at the side a line allowing Castiel to be beaten but it was thanks to his younger Brother that he finally realised that it was God's judgement and not his Father's. It was a shame that it had taken so long for Raphael to realise. He pulled out his phone from his pocket his fingers tracing the buttons. He tapped one button three times and allowed it to ring. "999 what's your emergency?"_

**A/N: I thought it was about time Raphael was a good guy in the shadows with doubts and whatever, he just needed that push :) Hope you like the update, and reviews feed a starving Muse :) Although many thanks for the reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

"No! I will not calm down! My Brother is missing or worst kidnapped! Why don't you do something other than telling me to fucking calm down!" Gabriel stormed from one side of his living room to the opposite as the Police operator tried her best to calm him down with words which were no near as comforting as they should be. _"Sir, please I can understand you're worried but we can't start a search until the 48 hours is up, and jumping to the conclusion is a serious accusation." _Gabriel near threw the phone at the wall. _"And this is not the first time your Brother has disappeared. All we can advise is to keep the lines open and see if he will contact you." _He closed his eyes for several brief seconds. "I really don't think 'worried' is the correct word to use at this present time." He half snarled while disconnecting the call. He should've known something was up when Castiel didn't come back; he pushed a hand through his hair looking around helplessly, of course he had asked Dean whether he had heard anything and when Dean said no, that was when he started panicking. The door opened as Dean appeared and shook his head silently. "I looked everywhere I could think of: School, fields, anywhere high. I went into the Church to see if the Priest had heard or seen anything and he…" Dean reached into his pocket pulling out Castiel's phone. "He found this while doing his rounds and said that one of the other Priests saw a older dude talking to a small dark haired boy. Said he looked shit scared."

Dean sat down heavily holding the phone tight in his hand, it was the only connection he had to Castiel, and it took a lot of will power not to breakdown. "Gabe, what happened in Pontiac?" small claws pricked his leg, clearly Castiel's cat Jimmy was well aware of what was going on as Dean reached down and put him on his lap, fingers slowly stroking the cat's soft fur. "Cas told you about our Mom right? Well he wanted to visit her grave and I stupidly believed _they _wouldn't find out." Dean's eyebrows shot up. "They?" he winced at the dig of Jimmy's claws in his knee. "They… my Brother and Dad." It was impossible to miss the pure hatred in Gabriel's tone and expression, his mouth tightened like he had eaten something extremely unpleasant. "Michael taunted Cas about his ribs and you Dean. He knew about you, so if he knew so does my Dad." Gabriel rubbed his forehead. "You have to understand my Dad is… there are so many words to describe him. If he's got his hands on Cas who knows what he's capable of."

"_999 what's your emergency?" _

Fighting with his Father's ingrained beliefs and what he knew was his heart calling out for him to finally start listening and stop the madness and punishment, his breathing became shallow and a cold sweat covered his skin. _"Hello? Is anyone there?" _

A heart beat passed he snapped his phone shut as Michael came out of his Father's study half carrying and dragging Castiel roughly up the stairs, his fingers dug deep into his young Brother's arm. His heart physically ached at the sight; he had stood in the shadows for most of his life. His Father leaving him to his own devices, how many times had the thought of calling for help passed his mind? The night Michael and their Father had beaten Castiel numerous times with fists or worst the belt. He could remember hearing the screams and smelling the scent of spilt blood. Just thinking about it made his stomach roll. "Something needs to be done." He murmured to himself. "What are you doing out here Raphael?" years had given him an advantage of being able to conceal his facial expression to one main impassive one. "Nothing, have you made progress?" he glanced down to see knuckles reddening. "We'll break him eventually, whoever this Dean Winchester is. I will find out and Castiel will pay for his Sins." Without waiting for Raphael to reply he turned on his heel closing the Study door with a snap. "Something needs to be done."

He waited until Michael and his Father had finally turned in for the night, he crept quietly avoiding all the loose floorboards towards Castiel's room. Michael predictably had locked it but thankfully Raphael had a trick or two up his sleeve. He took out a small hairgrip and proceeded to pick the lock stopping once or twice. He had no idea how Castiel would be whether he had already escaped which was unlikely but if his Brother could ever find it possible to trust, the lock clicked.

Castiel's room had never changed the bed had been stripped and empty, but Raphael knew exactly where he would be hiding. He kneeled down seeing the curled up form of, "Castiel." Small sobs shook the body as he flinched. "Castiel, please come out. We have not got much time." Slowly the head lifted bright blue eyes wet and red, blood drying on the bruised pale skin. "Please. I need you to trust me." He held out his hand only to have it stared at as Raphael witnessed the battle of judgement in Castiel's eyes. He knew he was deciding whether or not he should trust the person who was never there for him. "I want to help you, I should have a long time ago. Forgive me Brother but you were right…"he voice a hush whisper. "It has never been Father's place judge a person that is God's task and His alone." He wriggled his fingers in the hopes his words got through even in the dim light Castiel's lips twitched, tears escaping his eyes. "I am going to do something for you Castiel. I will get you out of here back to Gabriel and… and back to Dean. I will protect you, all it will take is for you to take my hand and trust me." He stretched out his arm until his muscle ached until finally. Finally. He felt small cold fingers slid into his palm and tighten, gripping his hand.

**A/N: Just a few things  
>1) I noticed the whole '999' thing after I posted the previous chapter and couldn't be bothered to change it so in reality it should be '911' but no harm right?<br>2) Thank you for the reviews!  
>3) Yey Raphael for not being evil!<br>4) Castiel will be getting some Dean lovin' soon! :D  
>5) Michael and Papa Novak will get their just desserts! Swear!<strong>

**Anyways moving on: Reviews feed the ever hungry Muse and I'll update when I can!**  
><strong>Also if you get bored there are two other fics (In Progress) and the first part of 'Where you Belong (Complete) on my Profile if you want to glance over them. :)<strong>  
><strong>See you soon!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Dean heard the clock finally strike 3am as he paced around the kitchen trying to find a distraction of his thoughts; so many things ran through his head to what possibly could have happened to Castiel. The Police were stubborn in waiting to see if Cas would just turn up. Dean had gone back to the Church in the deepest hope he would find Cas sitting in the backbenches just minding his own business while he prayed. There had been so many times he had walked the streets of Lawrence, and could have sworn he saw Castiel watching him with his familiar faint smile, bright blue eyes and scruffy hair yet when he blinked he was gone. Dean swallowed painfully trying to push back all the emotion the last thing Gabriel and Sammy needed was him to have a breakdown.

He sat on the bottom step of the stairs his face hidden in his hands, small hot tear droplets wetting his skin. _Please God, I'm not asking for much but please I'm begging you. Give him back to me! _More tears escaped as he repeated the words over and over. _Give him back to me! _He bit his lip repressing small sobs; he barely heard his phone ringing.

"_Are you sure he will answer?" Raphael held his phone to his ear as he drove one handed, Castiel shifted to find comfort. His body curled up against the passenger seat. "I am positive, he will pick up." Raphael looked unconvinced, as all he heard was the dial tone. "Keep trying." _

The ringing never once stopped until Dean realised it was real. He moved tentatively towards the ringing walking past Sammy and Gabriel who were fast asleep on the sofa. The persistent ringing disturbing neither of them, slowly he reached for his jacket that had been discarded hours before. "Hello?"

"_Dean Winchester?" _

He flinched at the voice. "Raphael? How the hell did you get my number?" he pulled the phone away from his ear intending to disconnect the call, only Raphael's loud shout stopping him.

"_Don't hang up!" _

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hang up on you, you dick!" he let his previous regard of Raphael take over, he turned to see Gabriel stirring. "Dean who is it?" he nodded his head indicating towards the phone. Dean covered the mouthpiece. "Raphael."

"_Dean please! Hear me out, I have Castiel we are on the way back to Lawrence." _

He felt his fingers loose grip of the phone as it fell landing with a thump on the carpet. He stared at the object it growing bigger with each passing second. "Dean, what did he say?" he tried to reply only his tongue felt heavy and swollen. "He has… Cas."

A pained sob forced its way out of his chest as he moved back falling into the armchair. Gabriel movements were lighting fast as he picked up the fallen phone. "Raphael, explain yourself." Gabriel stood strong as he listened to what his Brother had to say; many emotions flickered across Gabriel's face.

Confusion

Relief

Anger

Joy

"Why did you help him Raphael?" Dean saw the tears stain clear paths on his cheeks. "How far are you?" after several more quick questions and extended silence, Gabriel hung up.

_Raphael snapped his phone shut his heart pounding, he could never recall ever having a simple conversation with Gabriel. At times snarky exchanges were made at Raphael attitude towards Castiel. He sighed, feeling deep regret as he watched his Brother sleep. There was no pain on his young face only… a peaceful expression. _

"Wait, sorry start over I'm confused Gabe." Gabriel still held Dean's phone like a lifeline. "Raphael helped Castiel escape and they're on their way here right now." Dean's jaw remained slack as the information bounced around his brain; nothing seemed to make much sense. "He said he would explain all when they get here." Gabriel glanced at his watch trying to calculate the remaining time for his Brothers to travel. "Okay but how is Cas?" Gabriel licked his lips slowly. "Gabriel! Cas how is he?" Dean raised his voice resisting the urge shake the Older Novak. "Raphael didn't say but my guess is not to good."

_Castiel slowly came around from his sleep taking a moment to orientate himself. He blinked several times until Raphael came into focus. His eyes lined with exhaustion. "We will be arriving in Lawrence soon." Castiel wanted to move only his aching body. "Did they answer?" a nod followed a small yawn. "Yes they are expecting us." _

Dean, Gabriel and Sammy waited around the house nervously, both not sure when the doorbell would sound out the arrival. "Maybe I should wait outside… I don't know or something!" Dean paced around the room he cursed everything! Mainly time. It seemed to torture him enough as if it knew. "Dean calm down please. They'll get here when they get here!" Gabriel snapped as their frustration and anxiety clashed. Dean and Gabriel were steps away from being toe to toe until Sam pushed himself between them. "Please, don't fight!" he looked up at Gabriel his expression fiery but softened to see Sam's doe like eyes begging. "I'm sorry Sammy, Dean. I'm sorry."

They sat in silence, Sam sitting between both Dean and Gabriel to avoid any more arguments. Both Dean and Gabriel tapped their fingers nervously on any possible surface until: _Ding Dong._

**A/N: **

**Apologises for taking so long to update! I haven't forgotten about all you lovely readers!  
>Also sorry for leaving it on a cliffhanger but I bet you can guess what's gonna happen next :)<strong>

**Plus, I have a very busy weekend! Off to Asylum 7 on Friday gonna meet the lovely!  
><strong>

****MISHA COLLINS**  
><strong>MITCH PILEGGI<strong>  
><strong>ROB BENEDICT<strong>  
><strong>AMY GUMENICK<strong>  
><strong>JULIAN RICHINGS<strong>  
><strong>LINDSEY MCKEON<strong>**

***mini dance* I will probably take some paper with me to write some ideas for my other fics and this one too!  
>Update soon! *hugs* <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

_Ding Dong _

The announcement rang loudly throughout the entire house as all three sat stunned, unsure of what to do. Sam was the first to snap out of the slight daze as he glanced towards both Dean and Gabriel. Eyes wide and face pale, he cleared his throat quietly but very pointedly as Gabriel suddenly blinked and shook his head. "He's here." A small voice filled with fear of the unknown. All kinds of images flashes through Gabriel's head at how his Little Brother's condition could be. Physically, emotionally and definitely psychological. Who knew what that man he called his Father had done to Castiel.

Slowly, and extremely cautiously he got up moving past Dean, whose fingers now dug deeply into the sofa's arm, and Sammy who was now chewing his lip compulsively.

_Ding Dong _

Dean's heart pounded so painfully in his chest unsure of everything! Every part of him fought against itself. His heart squeezed wanting to hold Castiel, to make sure he was okay. Protect him and make sure nothing bad ever happened to him. His brain however argued to how Castiel would be.

He vaguely saw Gabriel walk past him making a streamline directly to the front door, each sound seemed louder. The creaks underneath Gabriel's feet, his fingers touching and closing around the door handle. A sudden silence led by a gasp. "Little Brother."

Raphael held Castiel close to his body supporting him the best he could as he walked into Gabriel's house, he felt far more welcomed than he previous visit. He saw Dean Winchester and a younger boy sitting in the living room both faces pale and eyes wide. Yet he could sense a strange emotion leaving Dean Winchester's taut posture, it took only moments before green eyes finally took in the sight of Castiel.

"Shit."

'_That voice I know that voice.' _Castiel's mind floated in and out of consciousness as finally he gained the energy to open his eyes. His eyes immediately filled with tears as he realised where he was. A small mixture of a laugh and sob escaped him. "I am home?" he gripped whoever was holding him up, burying his face into the shirt. The scent was not familiar; he had so many memories of hiding his face in someone's side. _'This is not Gabriel's scent.' _

Gabriel watched in awe at how Castiel hid his face in Raphael's side his lips twitching. "Please sit." He indicated for Raphael to sit somewhere as he went about fussing until both his Brother's were settled. With little or no resistance Castiel pulled away from Raphael once his body came into contact with the sofa, his groan a little whether it was relief or pain he couldn't tell but his eyes remained closed completely and utterly unaware of his surroundings or general location. Just seeing Castiel up close gave Gabriel the opportunity to look over his Younger Brother's currently physical state.

From what he could see, his Father being the very predictable type had almost avoided Castiel's face. His lip was showing signs of healing but seemed a little swollen, he wouldn't know the complete extent of injuries until Castiel felt in his right mind to tell him or show him. "Raphael, what happened exactly?"

Gabriel knew Raphael and his every facial tell he saw a slight tick of a muscle in his jaw. Hesitation? Another quick tick answered his previous thought. "If I tell you I would prefer Castiel and his…" he indicated a quick nod to Sam who had moved away from Raphael and Dean who had yet to move. "The details at the present time I would prefer to discuss without an audience."

"No I think I'd like to know exactly what happened." Finally words broke through to Dean as his shields immediately went up. His back straightened as he stared stubbornly at Raphael.

Dean waited for Gabriel to back him up yet he heard nothing; he glanced pointedly and scoffed in disbelief. "You're actually letting him decide?"

"Yes Dean I am. I think right now that Castiel needs you, please take Castiel and Sammy upstairs."

It took a couple of attempts until Dean found the strength to touch Castiel, his entire body and soul feared to what he might find underneath Cas' clothes, from the way Cas could barely hold himself up whatever that bastard he called his Father had done to him it would most likely make Cas shut himself away. "C'mon Cas." He kneeled in front his hand sliding gently over the fragile body as he pulled him up. An arm wrapped around Castiel's body, Dean held him up with little effort. "Sammy this way."

"Dean what are you going to do?" Sam sat in one of the spare bedrooms in Gabriel's house, he looked nervously around not particular sure of what to make of his new surroundings. "How'd you mean?" Sam's head turned sideways as if the answer was obvious. "About Cas, Dean! About Cas!" Dean saw redness form around Sam's eyes and he could tell that seeing Castiel beaten up had distressed him. "I'm not sure yet, but he'll be okay if we stay strong for him."

Sam looked unsure about what Dean had said. "Yeah but what happens if he doesn't bounce back? I mean did you see him? He could-" Sam's voice broke as he swallowed the lodge of emotion in his throat. "He could hardly stand Dean!" Sam gripped the blanket tightly in his fingers, his waterlogged eyes finally allowing the tears to escape. "I never thought I would ever see something like that Dean! How can another human being do such a thing?" Dean moved instantly pulling his Little Brother into a tight hug, his fingers stroking Sam's hair in an attempt to soothe him. "Sammy, I'll be honest I don't know. I honestly don't know and we'll probably never get an answer."

Dean held Sam until he finally fell asleep against him, he sighed into his hair pulling back enough to check Sam's current conscious state, he silently pulled back the covers enough to tuck Sam underneath them as he tried to compose himself enough to face Castiel.

He closed Sam's bedroom door quietly and moved towards Castiel's bedroom door. His hands buzzed with anticipation and nerves, the cold metal of the door handle chilled his hand as he opened the door. The room was dark and the bed untouched. Castiel's clothes were littered on the floor; he heard a small sound from the connecting bathroom. A whimper.

'_C'mon Dean!' _

Dean honestly felt like slapping himself when he hesitated but finally open the door and pushed it open. Steam from the shower escaped into the room he flicked on the light. "Cas?" another small sound was just about audible over the spray of the water. Dean clenched one hand into a fist and pulled back the curtain around the bath.

"Cas."

Sitting in the bath, water spraying on him without a care Castiel rocked back and forward his face buried in his knees. "Cas?" once again Dean found himself hesitating when he reached out to touch the skin. Castiel blessed with beautiful pale skin yet it was littered with dark bruises and deep indentations of fingers, he felt bile threaten to rise but forced it back as he carefully took one of Castiel's hands in his. "Cas? Can you look at me?"

Biting back the pain radiating in his body Castiel heard Dean's voice, he never demanded but merely suggested. "Please?" he felt the warmth of Dean's skin heat his own as his fingers tightened, he finally allowed himself to lift his head. Water from the shower sliding down his face taking the evidence of tears away. "I don't really know what to say." His lips twitch at Dean's emotionally roughened voice, in the deep green eyes he could see exhaustion and some much more. "I could say, everything's gonna be okay Cas. But not even I believe that." His lip trembled when Dean pulled his hand free and stood.

"Dean?" his voice cracked until he realised that Dean was not leaving. He watched as he pulled off his shirt and socks leaving him clad only in his jeans as he stepped into the tub allowing the water to wash over his body. "Can I just hold you Cas? Will that make things better?" he could only nod as he was gently maneuvered into Dean's arms his back against Dean's front. "We'll stay like this until Gabriel comes up and complains about us using all the hot water." Castiel said nothing as he watched the water drain away, he allowed Dean's fingers to stroke his skin. He needed to know that he was home and back with the person he loved.

It took several moments of silence until he looked over his shoulder. "Dean… I need you."

Dean's fingers stroked Castiel's collarbone, his forehead on his shoulder. "Not like this Cas." The words were whispered barely against his skin. Castiel took a deep breath as he forced himself to turn around so he could face Dean. "Please, Dean. I need you feel you." He waited patiently for Dean to lift his head; he saw the conflict in his green eyes. "I don't want to hurt you Cas."

"You won't. I just need to forget, I can still feel Michael's fingers on my arms and my Father's fist." He unfolded his body allowing Dean the full view. Bruises ran staining the skin some healing and others fresh. "I will beg Dean."

What self control Dean had left was broken at Castiel's words, his internal battle told him two things: Comfort Cas and give him what he needed but the other shot back: Don't take advantage. "Are you sure?" he looked into the deep blue eyes which told the stories, Dean could see the pain and fear. The eyes could tell a thousand stories and as Dean looked into them, he saw what Castiel kept hidden and locked away. "Okay, but if at anytime you want to stop. Tell me."

Taking Castiel's battered body in his hands Dean he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, allowing his hands to travel down the scarred back pulling him closer. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, his face buried in his neck. "Please Dean." Dean squeezed his eyes shut as one of his hands moved lower, his hand splayed out on Castiel's buttocks before slipping in and stroking the delicate entrance. "I won't hurt you Cas I promise." He licked his lips as his the tips of his fingers probed the flesh. The ring of muscles resisted as he slid one finger in and carefully worked the second and finally third. Castiel grunted, his could feel Cas' face contort but not a sound of pain escaped past the lips against his skin.

With his eyes closed Dean stretched Castiel moving his fingers inside, stroking the walls his lips peppering kisses on Cas' neck and shoulder.

His hesitation was caught on by Castiel who now sat snugly on his lap, Castiel shifted pointedly allowing his arousal to stroke against Dean's stomach, it was when Dean finally lifted his head they stared into each others eyes silently communicating. Castiel could understand Dean's hesitation but Dean could also under why Castiel needed him after such events. The comfort, needing to erase all the memories pounded into his body. With a single sharp nod Dean undid his jeans and slid the zipper down, even with the shower pelting out water the sound was unique and reached Castiel's ears making his entire body shudder. He watched as Dean released his member from the confines of wet fabric, he immediately took Dean's erection into his hand, stroking the fingers down the hard flesh.

In the past when they had been together Castiel always wanted to feel the press of Dean above his body but… flinching with stiff muscles Castiel placed both his hands on Dean's shoulders and moved on to his knees. He knew what he wanted and most needed as he wrapped one hand around Dean's erection and guided it to his hole.

Slowly and biting his lip he pressed himself against the hard flesh breaching and invading his body, Dean giving him full control as he moved his hips against his body.

Castiel closed his eyes, the sensations running through his entire body as he moved against Dean's arousal burying it deep as possible. "Please move Dean."

Dean pulled Castiel as close as possible thrusting his hips up against Castiel's movements, a groan was released from both of them as Dean's erection hit Castiel's prostate resulting in a tight squeeze of muscles. Castiel continued to buck against Dean, sometimes forcing a response if he felt Dean was being too cautious.

It was sometime later Castiel and Dean were lying in bed, Cas' head on Dean's chest and Dean tracing his fingers down Castiel's arms. They were silent neither particular sure what to say. He closed his eyes before looking down at Cas' prone form. "Cas… what happened?"

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating as quickly as I should but I stayed up extra long on a work night just to get an update up! **

**I hope you like, and it was so tedious to write! My gosh! **

**I will be updating my other fics soon also I've got another fanfiction in the works currently which will be amusing to write for sure! **


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel lay on his side his back to Dean as he stared at the darkness around of his bedroom. "A lot happened Dean." His voice a whisper and the softest Dean had ever heard. "Cas I have a right to know what happened, it's better then jumping to conclusions." Castiel rolled on to his back sighing he looked over Dean's face a small smile on his lips. "I suppose you are right."

It took Castiel's moments to find the words to explain what exactly had happened in Pontiac. "I was in the Church at the time just recovering from seeing Michael when my Father arrived, he sat beside me so casually that no one would even beat an eyelid, he covers his true colours very well." Castiel murmured as he chewed his lip unsure of whether he wanted to even continue but Dean's fingers stroked comfort into his mind. "He said… he said if I did not go with him you would never be safe and if anything happened to you Dean I could never forgive myself if it was all because of me." He lifted one hand stroking Dean's neck softly before pulling him close and burying his face in his neck needing to warm scent and comfort. "If I am completely honest I am very unsure what my Father's intentions were initially but eventually he started beating me wanting information about you, but the thought of seeing you again Dean kept me from breaking even when he involved Michael."

Dean's body stiffened a little as Castiel turned his back on him. "Dean I am sorry I really cannot speak about it, I just need to sleep."

Weeks Later 

"_Dean I already told you I do not want to speak about it! So stop asking!" _

_It was yet another argument which had been brewing for weeks since Castiel had been brought back to Lawrence, physically the wounds healed yet psychologically the memories still haunted him. Whenever Dean looked into the blue eyes all he saw was dullness and exhaustion. Castiel had stated coldly he needed space resulting in Dean going home and sleeping in his own bed, Castiel did not want to be touched or even comforted, he spent endless hours stroking Jimmy and talking to the cat. Gabriel had put it down as a coping mechanism yet Dean found himself being pushed away as each day passed. "You'll tell your cat anything but not me? What do you think I'll judge you or something?" _

"_No, no, no Dean it is not like that but you are always asking me over and over to talk about it… and I cannot because you will never understand so I am asking. Please stop asking me, whenever you ask I see his face Dean! I see his eyes! I can still hear his voice in my head. He is always there Dean and I do not want another human being to have those kind of things in their head!" _

_Dean stood shocked as he slowly opened his mouth to respond. "Have you ever considered if you told me I could try and understand? I could try and support you? When did it become your own personal mission to go alone with all those things? But you know what Cas. Fine! You want to do this alone by all means go ahead because I'm done! I've tried really I have but since you don't want my help let's just call it quits." _

Two Months Later

Castiel - Church

It seemed time had slowed the day Dean had called quits on their relationship without even a parting look he left Castiel standing alone in his bedroom tears sliding down his face.

"Castiel it has been a while since I've last seen you." When it became evident Dean was not going to return Castiel suddenly found himself back in the same Church his Father had taken him from, he sat in the back staring around in the hopes he could get a sign.

He jumped a little at the voice and smiled sadly as Father David Francis sat beside him, his fingers tapping on his knees gently. "Yes. A lot happened."

They both sat in silence. "How are things with Dean?" Castiel looked down at the floor his face twitching to hold back the tears he shrugged and sniffed. "We… we are no longer together he became frustrated when I refused to speak of my ordeal." The Priest nodded knowingly as Castiel had informed him of what had happened in the vaguest possible way. "I see, and was it a mutual separation?" again Castiel felt his shoulders lift as he rubbed his eyes against the wetness. "It had been brewing for many weeks, I just could not bring myself to tell him." He already knew that Dean would be furious that he had spoken to a Priest but not him, the guilt sat in his stomach with that thought. "But you told me Castiel, why not him?" his lips twitched into a sad smile. "I love him to much to plague in his mind with what happened."

"But I assume Dean loves you also? And if something happened to him he would want the comfort of you knowing about the ordeal no matter the amount how much information is shared." Castiel's eyes followed the detailed pattern on the floor as he let the Priest's words sink in. "Castiel there is absolutely no reason for you to suffer in silence when you have a support network like Dean. He wants to be there for you and I believe your 'separation' was just said out of frustration." Father Francis stood up and placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Don't leave it too long because time can cause more damage then healing in some aspects."

Dean – His Garage

"Is that all your going to do? Work on that stupid car?" Dean slid out from underneath the Impala to see Gabriel leaning against the table, his arms crossed and looking somewhat annoyed. "I would've thought you and Cas would've sorted out your differences by now." Dean snorted as he leaned against the car. "Not much you can do when your boyfriend refuses to talk to you."

"Oh so even though you called it quits you're still together?" all he could do was sigh tiredly. Were they still together? They hadn't spoken in months since he called quits. "I dunno Gabe I'm still half hoping for Cas to turn up stupid notion I know." He cleared his throat using the car as leverage to pull himself up, in all honesty their separation had been hell. Dean had more or less dropped out of school since he had no enthusiasm for the place or the people. He spent endless hours working on the Impala or doing jobs for Bobby, plus he was waiting for his Dad to turn up from his latest business trip and give him hell about dropping out.

"I'm curious Dean but what happened to start all those arguments?"

Dean closed the Impala hood with a snap and sat on it, he cleaned his hands with a rag trying to find the right answer. "Don't kill me for saying this but… when Raphael brought back Cas. You saw how he was and… God I can't believe I'm telling you this. But we had sex okay, he practically begged me and I really hate myself for it." He waited for Gabriel to yell or even punch him because he felt he deserved it yet there was nothing. "I see, you do realise that that sex would've been comforting for Cas to remind him he was safe and away from our Dad right?" Dean nodded but the sour taste in his mouth whenever he thought about the sex or even spoke about remained in his mouth. "Sometimes Dean we have to do things we're not completely comfortable with and Castiel loves you enough to allow you to be close to him in his most vulnerable state and believe me he trusted you way before you two became official."

Gabriel was right. Of course Gabriel was right! "Remember what I said a while back? You and Cas have a very profound bond and that's something I'll never have so…" Gabriel moved forward grabbing Dean by the shirt until he was standing. "Go to my Brother and sort out this mess before it's too late."

**A/N: Yes! an update! I do apologise for keeping it so long ... 9 days so sorry!  
>Anyway hope you like :)<br>Reviews are appreciated as usual! **


	7. Chapter 7

Dean stood stunned looking at Gabriel like he had grown at second head. "Dean! What are you waiting for? GO! FIND! MY! BROTHER!" with surprising strength he gripped Dean by the shirt grabbing a random jacket and pushing him out of the Garage. "And don't come back unless it's with Cas!"

As Dean half ran towards Castiel's house he felt a strange sense of Déjà vu although the last time he had went to find Cas it had been raining who would've thought it was possible for Sam to talk sense into him. Never once as he made his move did he even question whether Cas would even be home but his gut told him he was there. If he wasn't he knew the Church would be his best bet. He barely gave himself a chance to think of what exactly he would say to Cas when he reached the door. Castiel's home was more or less a second home to him and Sammy but for once in his time of staying there he hesitated.

'_Dean why are you hesitating!' _his hand was held out in front of him waiting for his fingers to come into contact with the door handle but it just didn't happen. He could not bring himself to open that door.

Castiel lay on his bed gently stroking Jimmy. "I miss him but I do not wish to make him worry about me anymore." He found himself frequently talking to Jimmy, telling the cat all his deepest secrets since he had broken up with Dean. His silent moping had been driving Gabriel mad and due to that Cas decided it was best if he just stayed away from everyone.

He closed his eyes running his fingers through the soft fur, the nights had been tough, nightmares stopped him very sleeping through the night and he ended up napping throughout the day in the hope he would not have to sleep at night. Especially since Dean was not there to comfort him. "Maybe I should tell him." Jimmy turned his head his blue eyes staring and simply shouting 'You think?' Castiel's lips twitched. "But I don't know where he would be."

He watched as Jimmy stood up digging his paws into his stomach and stretching while yawning. He jumped from the bed and started to scratch at the door.

As per usual when it involved Jimmy, Castiel let the cat lead the way to the kitchen where he started meowing loudly and pointedly to be fed yet once Castiel put the food bowl on the floor Jimmy glanced and walked away towards the front door. "What is wrong with you today?"

Dean's heart jumped in his chest when he heard Castiel's voice he must've been talking to Jimmy. He always talked to that cat and it was that potent jealously that created that massive argument they had had. Sure Jimmy probably had no idea what Cas was on about but was it really far to replace him with a cat?

He lifted his hand determined to knock yet he missed the opportunity when the door opened.

Both boys stared into each other's eyes both surprised as each other. "Dean?"

Dean grimaced when he saw the exhaustion that had taken its place underneath Cas' eyes. He should've known that after what had happened there would have been no way for Cas to even sleep through the night. He stayed still when Cas started tracing his face with shaking fingertips. "I'm not a dream Cas if I was do you honestly think I'll be standing here?"

He saw Castiel swallow back the tears as he tried his best to compose himself. "C-can… C-could we… t-talk?" Dean's arms and hands felt heavy as he yearned to hold Cas, to stroke his hair and comfort him. "Yeah Cas we can and we should."

Dean followed Cas up to his room trying to not remember all the memories he had from there, good and bad. The day he stopped Cas from going back to pot, he looked around and noticing although it looked the same it felt different. Cas sat on the bed looking wary and worried his fingers fidgeting with bedspread avoiding Dean's green gaze. _'Oh man.' _He felt like he could only blame himself for how Cas was. "Cas look at me please." He kneeled on the bed using a single finger to make Cas look at him. "I'm sorry about our fight." Small trembles of Castiel's lower lip made him want to kiss away everything and start fresh.

"And you're right there's no way I could ever relate to what happened to you, sure my Dad's never around but he's never once lifted a hand at me or Sammy." He saw the sudden dampness fill Castiel's eyes. "But there's no reason for you to alone with everything, I just wish… I just wish Cas that you'd let me in so I can start to and try to understand." He stroked Castiel's cheekbones feel hot tears on the skin of his fingers.

Small sobs slipped from Castiel's mouth at Dean's tenderness not to mention the shining glow of love in the green eyes. He gasped suddenly when Dean pulled him into a hug, rubbing his hand down his spine until the sobs turned into delicate hiccups. "I know I don't say this enough and I should… but you know I love you right?"

Castiel buried his face into Dean's jacket taking in the deep scent of Dean and car oil. His fingers gripping the open jacket until his knuckles went white. "And the last thing I want to see is you suffering Cas and pushing me away because you're worried I won't be able to cope. Maybe it's about time you put a little more trust in me?" Dean's voice vibrated against his face as he curled in deeper towards his body. It took several minutes before turned his face. "I'm a lot tougher then you think Cas… after my Mom died I had to look after my Dad and Sammy, I really had to grow up quick."

Dean pulled Cas closer rubbing his nose against the messy black mass of soft hair. "Would it help if I was a bit more open?" Cas nodded silently as he suddenly pulled Dean down the bed giving him more access to hold him. "I don't like chick flick moments but if it helps you Cas, I'll grit my teeth and do it."

**A/N: **

**Marathon update day today :D ... gonna be tired but it is so worth it! :)  
>Only two more to go! <strong>

**Jess**


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